The Emphatic Listening Scenario

When listening to someone else, empathic listening is understanding their meaning, feelings, thoughts, and entire experience. I’ve had to take on the role of an emphatic listener over the years, whether consciously or unconsciously. I can remember some of the conversations I had with my friends and family while they were dealing with particular issues, and I was able to comprehend their emotions as a result. At one point, a friend and coworker of mine approached me at work with a concern. He informed me that the sales manager had informed him that his performance in the last three months was undesirable, and he had to change or he was going to lose his job. As a sales associate, my friend felt that the manager had specifically picked him out even though the company was experiencing difficulties in moving stock. He noted that the manager felt threatened by his professional growth, and seeing that he could be promoted soon, he decided to bring up the sales issue. In essence, this is one of the conversations that I realize I played the role of an emphatic listener.

More often than not, we find ourselves being critical of a person’s situation when what they really need is a person to listen. Indeed, when my friend was explaining to me his predicament, I found myself not only listening but also being critical of his situation. Firstly, I was critical of the fact that he had not realized that his sales performance was decreasing for the last three months. If he had done this, he would have come up with ways to improve his performance so as to avoid warnings from the sales manager. Throughout the conversation, he noted that it would be hard to track his sales performance, but I also found myself being critical of this aspect. He could have easily tracked his daily sales performance so as to determine if he was meeting his targets. In essence, I found myself being critical that my friend was not paying attention at his job station.

At the same time, I was also critical of the aspect that he thought the sales manager has singled him out. I felt that he was only consoling himself instead of working on rectifying his sales performance so that he could keep his job. Indeed, I found it disturbing that he thought this way as the sales manager was our direct supervisor, and it was his role to ensure that we all met our targets. The other aspect of our conversation that I was critical of is that fact that he thought he was going to be promoted. While his past performance was good, I found that with his current decrease in sales there was no way the manager was going to recommend them for promotion. Furthermore, I also found myself being critical of how my colleague had responded to the situation. He did not acknowledge to the manager that his performance had decreased and what he doing about it. In general, while my friend only needed someone to listen, I was critical of the conversation.

According to Floyd (2014), emphatic listening can be used as a form of affectionate communication as people my use it as a chance to direct their feelings to the other person. Indeed, during the conversation with my friend, I let my friend know that I cared about their dilemma through my actions and words. Firstly, when he informed me that there was a possibility he was going to lose his job, I held his hand as he told me more about his situation. Through this action, I showed him that I was ready to listen, and maybe offer help for his situation. The other action that I took was to put my phone aside as I listened; I realized that my friend was facing a dilemma and he needed my help. If I had continued using my phone, this could have given him the idea that I did not care about his situation. Additionally, also made him feel comfortable by moving to a place where the two of us could have a conversation without nay disturbances. In general, through these actions, I showed my friend that I cared about his dilemma and really wanted to help.

Additionally, I also showed that I cared by asking my friend questions where I felt that I needed clarification about the situation. For example, when he told me about his encounter with the sales manager, I asked him if he had been tracking his performance. Furthermore, I also showed that I cared about his situation by offering different solutions on how he could increase sales in future. Furthermore, after we finished talking, I offered to help him track his performance in future, and notify him on areas that he needed to improve.

Although there are areas of listening that I need to improve, an analysis of my performance reveals that I did well. Firstly, did not interrupt my friend when he was telling me about his dilemma. I had to wait for him to pause so that I could raise any questions I had about the situation. According to Brownell (2015) for one to be a good listener, they must learn not to interrupt others when they are talking as this gives the other person a chance to explain their situation. Moreover, the question one may be asking can be answered as the conversation proceeds. Additionally, my performance was also good as I showed y friend that I really cared about his situation. Although I could have been committed somewhere else I decide to pay attention to my friend’s current situation so that I could see the areas I may help.

Furthermore, I can also analyze me performance from the perspective of how critical I was during the conversation. My critiques enabled me to come up with solutions that my friend could use to change his current workplace situation. Furthermore, I also tried to imagine myself in the same situation, and this really helped in developing informed solutions to the problem. In general, I do realize that in future I will have to be a more empathic listener so that to help individuals who come to me for help or just want someone to listen.

References

Brownell, J. (2015). Listening: Attitudes, principles, and skills. Routledge.

Floyd, K. (2014). Empathic listening as an expression of interpersonal affection. International Journal of Listening, 28(1), 1-12.