Romantic Relationships and Social Exchange Theory

The Social Exchange Hypothesis

The social exchange hypothesis provides insight into how we manage and preserve platonic as well as romantic relationships. In our lives, people come and go, and occasionally we are not even aware when they have left us. One thing distinguishes the relationships we keep and the ones we end, and that is the advantages they bring with them. People are more likely to stick with something when there are incentives, and relationships are no exception. You should consider why you value one friendship more than the other, why you maintain the friendship, and what function the other person serves. It is very quick to cut communication when you remain as the only one who reaches out, but it’s also easy to maintain contact when it’s a two-way thing.

The Social Exchange Theory and Romantic Relationships

The social exchange theory applies to relationships in more than one way, and its effects on romantic relationships can be permanent if not careful. The variation that different individuals have on their perceptions of romantic relationships and how they should determine the outcomes of the relationships. Various factors come together to determine the negative and positive feelings we have about our relationships, and the factors being the social exchange theories.

Maintenance of Relationships

It is important for people to know that relationships especially the romantic ones go beyond the initial stage of attraction into a phase of maintenance. So what will maintain a relationship, first of all, lays mostly on the communication (Thomas & Iding, 2012). The social exchange theory explains the reason why some relationships last longer than others and why we stick with some people and dump others along the way. Relationships that give us the most benefit for the least efforts tend to be the ones we hold with the most. The perceptions may come from a selfish point of view, but then again it is a give and take. Rewards have always been a necessity in any relationship, and the rewards do not necessarily come in monetary value but in the comfort and joys of relationships (Cook, Rice, & Nakagawa, 2013). When it comes to romantic relationships, we can first evaluate the factor of cost benefit. Analysis on cost-benefit refers to the value of the relationship in regards to the rewards that come with it. Expenses in a relationship apply to the things that we view as being negative things such may include over protectiveness or other annoying out of character traits from your partner. The positive things also contribute to the cost of a relationship thing such as a partner that has a drive in life, attractive or even how they make you feel when you stay in their company. When it comes to a romantic relationship cost-benefit analysis is key in determining the longevity and at times the onset of a relationship. Checking on the cost and the benefits that come with an individual helps in weighing the factors that determine and set the tone for the relationship. When it comes to making the final decision most times, the benefits outweigh the cost for any given relationship, and those will always be the most logical relationships. When the cost outweighs the benefits then definitely the relationship is not worth the while and will always be draining to the other individual (Cook, Rice, & Nakagawa, 2013).

Comparison and Alternatives in Relationships

After making the decision to start the relationship by cost and benefits, the maintenance will also be on the same basis but a different level. The comparison level is where a person evaluates the current relationship compared with previous ones. In comparison, you check whether the benefits of the previous relationship possible in this new one or if the new relationship does not have as many advantages. The contrast level highlights all the good and bad of a relationship, how many rewards you receive from your partner and vice versa on their side making it a decision-making tool on whether to fight for the relationship or is it a waste of time and energy. In short, the comparison level is checking on the cost and benefits of the current relationship to the value and allowances of the previous relationships (Cook, Rice, & Nakagawa, 2013).

Comparison levels of alternatives also are a component of social exchange theory (Thomas & Iding, 2012). When you have made the decision to stay in a relationship, with all the costs and benefits weighed out there comes the opportunity of alternatives. When in a romantic relationship it does not stop others from perusing you and trying their luck at having you to be their potential partner. The choice comes in at this point when you start to compare the relationship you have with the possible one (Thomas & Iding, 2012). Consideration of the things that the partner has to bring on the table compared to the ones that the other suitor is offering you. The measurements of the two individuals in your life who have the potential of having a future with and how they add to your life, the positive and negative that come with them and which ones outweigh the others (Cook, Rice, & Nakagawa, 2013).

Communication and Expectations

The social exchange theory is a fundamental process that people apply when determining romantic relationships whether consciously or unconsciously. The effects that come with the approach mainly may stand from a selfish point of view where an individual is asking all the questions that affect them without thinking of their role in the relationships and how it will affect their partner also. Communicating on all the issues that you may potentially come within a relationship helps the other partner to know whether or not they want to get involved with you. The most important part of communication in this theory is the fact that telling your partner what you expect of them romantically will offer them a guideline of what you need and how to treat you (Thomas & Iding, 2012).

The Limitations of the Social Exchange Theory

As important as the social exchange theory is at determining relationships it is imperative that people now that it is not in totality okay to only base your decisions on the opinion. The balance of benefits will never be equal one way, or the other one partner will always give more no matter how slight it may be. On the other hand, the cost will also differ as one will have to incur more cost because of the other partner as slight as it may also be. So looking at the social exchange theory it may be safe to say that as much as it determines relationships and the communication that is needed it is not a perfect approach but it works.

References

Cook, S. K. Cheshire, C., Rice, W. R. E. & Nakagawa, S. (2013). Social exchange theory.

Handbooks of Sociology and Social Research, 61-88.

Thomas, M. R., & Iding, K. R. (2012). Explaining conversation: A development social exchange theory. Lanham, MA: Jason Aronson.