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I appreciate how you began your paper. Your beginning grabs readers’ attention and makes it simple for them to comprehend the topic of the full report. Additionally, by using the adage “it takes a village to raise a child,” you have shown appropriate literacy skills. This format has been employed correctly and effectively conveys the paper’s goal and the topics you’ll be covering in the following paragraphs.
However, as I read through your writing, I became aware of some issues with the word choice. For instance, in the first sentence of the second paragraph, you used the term “generic” twice. Repetition makes a written paragraph sound boring and exhibits you as an author with minimal vocabulary. It is essential to note that exhibiting proficiency in the language is an imperative aspect of grading a writer (Elufiede, Murray, Boden, & Carnegie Writers, Inc., 2016).
I enjoy the way you have approached the issue of cooperation among teachers. I also agree with the fact that collaboration of tutors is an essential aspect of building holistic pupils. The collaboration increases the amount of time that students are exposed to teachers, thus enhancing the level of positive outcomes out of the learner-tutor engagement. This concept also augers well with the introductory paragraph, in which you have used a proverb to shed light on the subject matter of your paper. In a nutshell, you have demonstrated a good understanding of the topic, as the flow of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion is impressive. However, you need to improve on a few issues such as in-text citations and the correct choice of words. An improvement in these areas will portray you as a proficient writer, who not only uses language to explain the ideas but is also rich in literary skills.
Elufiede, O., Murray, T., Boden, C. J., & Carnegie Writers, Inc., (2016). Enhancing writing skills. Charlotte, NC: Information Age Publishing, Inc.
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