Proposal for Additional Parking For Blue Cross Blue Shield Employees: Review Feedback

The Proposal for Parking for Blue Cross Employees

The topic, a proposal for parking for Blue Cross employees, is clearly highlighted in the opening, which also piques readers’ interest. In order to grab the readers’ attention, the author highlighted the primary issue that is now occurring and even provided background information on the issue. As a result, the introduction gave a backdrop of the major issue as well as an outline of it. The introduction paragraph, however, contains no indication from the writer as to what the proposal is about, leaving the readers in the dark. Throughout the paper, there is a clear purpose and it is easy to highlight the main points. The writer has clearly discussed the problem and then continued to offer solution. Throughout, there are details concerning the events that led to the problem. The history of the problem has been described well and therefore, it gives the reader the background of the problem being solved by the proposal. The Blue Cross company therefore embarks on a research regarding solving the parking problem. They consult other research papers done in Abu Dhabi by another company and then present survey questions to their employees. The research presents its findings and recommendations were done for people to start working from home. This solution augured well with most employees and thus the parking problem was solved.

Integration of Sources and Formatting

The sources are well integrated into the proposal to back the facts being discussed. The in-text citations follow a clear APA style of formatting. However, the reference list needs to be formatted according to APA style.

Paper Organization and Visual Aids

The author could improve the paper by breaking it into sections for easier reading and understanding. Further, the writer could improve the paper by providing some charts/graphs to back the statistics shown in the responses given by the survey respondents.

Overall Assessment

In conclusion, I consider this paper to be responsive to the discussion assignment. However, more references could improve the paper.

Oysters Can Improve Water Quality - Review Feedback

The introduction paragraph of this paper is well-written and interesting to the reader. It goes direct to the purpose of the study and thus giving the reader a clear understanding of the purpose of the study. It is interesting to note that the introduction gives a brief history of the events that destroyed oysters and then goes ahead to point out that the problem (effect) is being felt.

Clear Purpose and Focus

There is a clear sense of purpose throughout the paper as the writer has tried to keep the main idea at the center of the paper. Throughout the paper, the writer has focused on highlighting the destruction of Oysters and the effects of the same, as well as providing solution to the problem. Instead of providing irrelevant literature, the writer has focused on the subject matter.

Backing the Solution with Credible Sources

The solution is well presented and backed by sources, which makes the solution credible and authentic. However, it can be improved by providing statistics to back the results. Moreover, the sources are well integrated and formatted according to APA style. The sources are effective as they help to back the claims the writer is making throughout the paper.

Potential Improvements

The paper could be improved through providing a result section backed by statistics and providing recommendations.

Overall Assessment

In conclusion, this paper is responsive to the discussion assignment, but could be improved by providing recommendations. The writer can come up with recommendations based on the analysis done and the existing solutions to the problem.