Introduction to Communication Theories

Various communication myths and ideas are demonstrated in the film ’The Break Up.’ It depicts an intimate relationship between two people. When compared to other types of partnerships, intimate relationships can be very complex. The film depicts two people who adore each other but interact in the most inept ways. When two parties struggle to interact successfully for an extended period of time, it almost always leads to serious confrontations and, in extreme cases, the end of the relationship. The Break Up demonstrates the importance of oral contact in relationships (DeVito, 12). The film features individuals Gary and Brooke who have been a couple for several years. They are seen arguing about something as slight as lemons, however, in the argument other significant issues begin to manifest. A lot of passive aggressive behavior, unsupportive communication, disconfirming messages and defensive communication is encountered in the film; a climate that led to the deterioration of their relationship.

Towards the start of the film, a scene is shown where Brooke asks Gary who is her live in boyfriend to bring with him twelve lemons on his way back home. The lemons were meant for a centerpiece at the dinner they were hosting that evening. Gary instead brings three lemons home and they pick an argument with each other. They get involved in ineffective communication leading to intensifying of the conflict. Brooke asks him why he brought just three of them but Gary tells her to use a smaller container. Gary become passive aggressive when Brooke tells him she needed exactly twelve lemons to accomplish her initially planned setup. He criticizes her food using the lemon saying how the chicken that burnt him last time would use some on top of it. When Brooke asks for help to set up the table, he gets more passive aggressive claiming she requires no help. His decline to help with setting up the table and his comments escalates issues further and it makes Brooke more furious.

It is noticed that the defensive communications being engaged by both of them and negative responses contribute to their ineffective communication. There is need to show empathy and listen to each other’s argument to in order to facilitate supportive communication (DeVito, 50). The problem arises when both partners both try to dominate in the conversation and fail to view things from different angles. Gary and Brooke show no empathy for each other and fail to look at things from other perspectives. Gary feels tired from working all day and jus wants to sit and relax but Brooke fails to accept this fact. Although Gary feels he requires some appreciation for going to earn a living and support both of them, he does not understand that Brooke on the other hand, has toiled the entire day with house chores. Rather than listening to one another, they keep going about how each one of them has worked and both lack the sense of appreciation.

Their lack of empathy for each other makes them more infuriated. Brooke tries to show Gary how much she does for him and claims she deserved more support from him. She criticizes him that he couldn’t even be so thoughtful to bring her flowers but he dismisses her responding she hates flowers. Brooke asks him to clean the kitchen but, Gary responds he would rather not. When she asks him to do the dishes, he wonders how that concerns him and dismisses her. Although Brooke just wants to feel more supported and loved, Gary completely disregards her feelings and fails to understand her issues. We see lack of open communication and dishonesty when both try to express their feelings. It can be observed from the way they keep hovering over the main issues and putting emphasis on the unimportant ones.

The argument continues to escalate, and both Brooke and Gary begin throwing all kind of issues and past conflicts that never got resolved. Brooke complains how Gary has never taken her anywhere leave alone the ballet. She convicts him of playing too much video games and lacking novelty in the relationship. She complains of how tired she is of the too much predictability in their relationship and needs to encounter newer things and experiences. When Gary reminds her of the game they attended not long ago, she is furious claiming she wasn’t even interested in the game. She feels as though he has control of most of what they do together and that she pleases him at the expense of giving up her desires. She feels that Gary needs to compromise more but Gary feels that she never raises an issue for him to understand that. Gary feels heavily attacked from all the disconfirming messages he receives from Brooke. Rather than letting him know of how much she cares about him and wants to resolve the argument, she constantly calls her names like a nag.

It shows a severe breakdown of interpersonal communication in their relationship. Lack of effective communication led to dismissing issues rather than dealing with them which ended up causing the couple more problems. Due to lack of a proper way of communicating Brooke and Gary end up breaking up. It shows that unsupportive and defensive climates in communication patterns highly undermine a relationship. Presence of interpersonal communication would otherwise ensure they communicate with a purpose of finding solutions to their problems. It enables one to establish and manage a relationship through facilitating mutual responsibility to create meaning (Craig, 71).

The Break Up movie also brings to our attention the social exchange theory in communication. The character Jennifer Aniston portrays is filled with frustration from what she sees as her boyfriend’s lack of interest and participation in the household duties. Brooke expresses her desire and expectation to be at the receiving end more than Gary, in that she feels she needs to benefit more in the relationship. According to Brooke, the costs are overshadowing the paybacks and she wishes so much that Gary would understand her point of view. It occurs recurrently in the film that Brooke always contributes more than Gary. This recurring situation os actually what contributes to the termination of their relationship as the film’s title implies.

Brooke is consistently trying to show Gary what she means concerning his contribution to household duties; Gary however, just wants to be left alone. It brings to our attention the social judgment theory. According to this theory of communication, it depends on the listener’s personal involvement with the issue being raised to predict whether the individual is going to encounter a change in his attitude or not. Change in attitude in this case is measures by means of rejection latitudes, acceptance and lack of commitment (Rahman, 12).

According to the social exchange theory, people analyze their relationships based on a cost-benefit analysis. It entails assessing the potential gains and perils in the relationship. People therefore find it easier to sustain relationships when the stand to benefit highly and they tend to finish those that earn them low benefits. Based on this theory of communication, there are many forms of relationships in existence; however, all are rely on the concept of benefit and cost. It shows that humans tend to seek rewards and shun penalties. The example we seen in this film is that relationships are gauge based on their outcomes (Rahman,32).Positive outcomes appear when benefits exceed costs and negative outcomes when costs exceed benefits. Brooke in the Break Up movie found that her benefits/ cost did not meet her expectations which contributed to her biggest issue with Gary.

The concept of verbal communication also arises in many parts of the film. There seems to be a lot of screaming, denial and unfulfilled needs during Brooke and Gary’s break up scene. Brooke needs more attention from Gary, while he just wants to be left alone. Brooke attempts consistently to alter his attitudes and make him understand she requires him to show more care and initiative through engaging and helping out with certain things. When she tries to do this, Gary does not want to listen to the issues she is bringing to his attention. Each time Brooke tries to pass a point, Gary counters the point with his issues and vice versa. It demonstrates noise which is anything that obstructs meaning. Lack of empathy during their conversation leaves room for both internal and semantic noise. Internal noise refers to the thoughts and feelings running through a person’s mind, whereas semantic noise entails unintended meanings one gathers in the argument thereby undermining the significance of the message (Craig, 48). In the film, although Brooke and Gary had so much love for each other poor communication advanced unintended meanings in their arguments which made worsened the situation.

Perception is an important factor of effective verbal communication. It is how one looks perceives the world around them and others. It constitutes symbolic interaction that implies that individuals tend to act towards an issue depending on the meaning it has for them (Cobley, Paul 59). It also entails self-concept that is how one thinks of himself or herself. Gary in the film demonstrates self serving bias, when he never sees anything he has done wrong. He never admits to being on the wrong and Brooke on the other hand, rather than guiding him to communicate well she expects him to figure it out on his own. When Gary is convinced he can’t figure it out on his own, he fails to even make an effort to change the way he thinks. It ends up becoming a lose-lose disagreement since there lacks effective communication to allow self reflection and self awareness and yet none of the two attempts to go down that path.

Works cited

Cobley, Paul, and Peter J. Schulz, eds. Theories and models of communication. Vol. 1. Walter de Gruyter, 2013.

Craig, Robert T. “Constructing theories in communication research.” Theories and models of communication 1 (2013): 39-57.

DeVito, Joseph A. The interpersonal communication book. Pearson, 2015.

Rahman, Bushra H. “Theories of Communication.” (2014).

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