Good Communication in Marriages

In many marriages, effective communication has increased couples’ trust in one another and enhanced their ties to their families. Additionally, communication keeps people from committing crimes and resisting temptations while also bringing them closer together. It causes love in a relationship to develop. There is no such thing as a perfect couple, thus this argument does not imply that a family or marriage should be devoid of misunderstandings or disputes. Marriage has never been easy, and it probably never will be in the near future either. However, effective communication promotes an appreciation of one another’s shortcomings and aids in resolving problems in a marriage. As commonly said apples of gold in silver carvings are a word spoken at the right time for it, so does the same apply to communication in families and marriages that need to flourish. Good communication helps couples so much and the family at large. Someone in Canada once said they would rather spend their time with their wives and not anyone else because being with their wives adds more happiness to the happy moments in life and it becomes easier to endure the difficult moments also (Dailey et al., 75). It’s advisable that not a single day should pass without people talking to each other in a family. Again communication problems cannot lack in a marriage because both clues are imperfect in their own different ways with different personalities.

This is because the individuals come from different cultures which may contribute to misunderstandings. They are also raised differently and therefore they tend to have adopted different means of communication. It’s out of these reasons that people who research on marriages like John Gottman and Nan Silver have written that all couples have to be willing to work hard if they really want to ensure they communicate well with each other and ensure their marriage lasts. Many marriages have failed and many have also worked. The basis of all these has been the kind of communication that existed among couples (Badr & Carmack Taylor, 627). Any strong marriage takes a lot of hard work so as to ensure both parties are satisfied and families happy. The love for each other should be kept strong through the good and bad moments.

Many couples have achieved this despite the many challenges that come with marriage. All these has been achievable because such couples have mastered the art of talking about the thoughts they have and the feelings in a way that is so honest and still in a kind way. These are qualities of love respect, sight and humility. Insight helps couples to understand each other well. Any person that shows insight in a matter often finds good (Badr & Carmack Taylor, 621). A wife is a complement to the husband as it was stated in the days of creation. This implies the two individuals are differently able and thus they need to communicate well with each other. This explains why the way men and women communicate is totally different. Women in most cases talk about feelings, relationships and people. Any form of communication that embraces love and honest helps women to feel loved.

For men they rarely talk about the feelings they have but prefer talking about problems, activities and solutions with a lot of feelings of respect (Badr & Carmack Taylor, 623). This thus implies these two individuals are differently oriented and without good communication skills they are likely to misunderstand each other in many cases because their interests are very different. Any person that shows insight then tries to understand the thoughts and feelings of each other. Its bee documented that most men would want to fix problems as quickly as possible unlike women. This may turn out to be frustrating because all a woman wants is for the man to hear her out and try to understand the feelings she has towards the matter at hand.

Any man who knows his woman’s feelings is likely to engage in the right communication that is beneficial to the marriage and family (Maguire & Kinney, 37). The same applies to women. This means your partners thoughts and feelings are important to them. Good communication techniques should also assist one to understand that there are times for talking and times for keeping quiet. Good communicators in a family and marriage have learnt when to talk to their spouses and when to remain silent about any burning issue. Anytime your spouse is or appears overwhelmed do not try bringing an issue on table for discussion. Most families and spouses that have adopted this have made communication better and matters have been solved with less argument.

Any time a wife communicates in a way that is kind and at the right time the husband is always happy and keen to listen and come with solutions. This is because men have their own egos and if not scratched well they end up causing arguments (Dailey et al., 78). Any good spouse should not only listen to their partner but also make tremendous efforts in telling them their feelings. Showing feelings is not a sign of weakness as some people tend to think. Most people are struggling in their homes to make their marriages to work because they lack good communication skills but can always be sorted out. Nothing in this world is unchangeable. It only takes efforts and willingness to change. It sometimes can be hard for couples to change the way they communicate and this mostly comes out of too much ego. Love should always be made to grow and not dwindle.

This is because it’s a perfect bond of any union. Any true love is supposed to grow as time passes because the couple gets to understand and know each other well. The couple should become closer friends with time. Marriages are made to grow stronger not by doing great few things for each other but by the small things that are done repeatedly for each other. Such things include constant complements like you look good, hugs, thoughtful acts warm smiles and getting to ask how your partner’s day was (Maguire & Kinney, 43). All these are indirect good communication acts. They make a big difference in marriages and family set ups. Marriage partners should make efforts of learning from each other this is because their love grows with the more they learn from each other.

This assists them to outlook each other’s weaknesses and focus on building their relationships. People should constantly ask themselves in marriages on how well they know each other and do they often think of their spouses’ qualities which first attracted them to each other. Good communication implies that couples respect each other. No marriage is perfect and a couple at times disagrees. If you treat each other with respect the disagreements cannot make you enemies. This is in contract to a couple that treats each other with disrespect. Communication in most cases among such couples is never good in most cases. Without respect the marriage is likely to be in danger. In the early stages of marriage couples should work towards speaking to each other kindly and with respect to each other (Dailey et al., 87).

This makes it easier for honest communication to exist among them. For spouses to have good communication they both need to be humble in mind. This is because with humility the couple is able to solve their problems because it makes them to easily use words like ‘I’m sorry’. Some elderly people in marriage say that words like I’m sorry are more important than ‘I love you’. On the contrary any pride makes it hard for wife and husband to have good communication among them. Anyone who has pride does not see the need of using words like ‘I’m sorry’. They always make excuses in almost everything with too much blame on the other person instead of openly admitting their mistake (Maguire & Kinney, 36). Such proud people when offended do not see the need for making peace instead their talk is usually harsh or even refuse to engage in any communication.

Any problem that brings a disagreement among spouses should be solved with no pride among spouses. With humility marriage partners are able to appreciate each other’s good qualities and abilities. Any special ability should be taken as a plus to the family and not a threat. This shows that the couples love and value each other (Dailey et al., 98). Communication serves as the cornerstone for any marriage. Things like trust, honesty and love are not the most important in marriage. It’s how they are expressed that matters and produces a marriage that other people envy. The magic is where the love is shown trust show casted and one acting honestly. Marriage goes form good to great if one is able to communicate how their wives and husbands mean to them.

Communication is the combination of verbal, nonverbal and physical acts and not just speaking. Good verbal communication has to be expressed for example if you love your spouse well but you don’t tell them it becomes difficult for them to know your feelings. Some people appreciate their spouse but never tell them and thus in the end the appreciation does not hold any meaning. Also bad acts of your spouse should be talked out. If you fail to do so you only breed worse outcomes with time (Maguire & Kinney, 30). Holding all of the dissatisfaction inside makes marriages not to work well. Letting such dissatisfaction out is very important for the growth of the relationship. However it has to be done in a tactical way and a manner that is warmer in nature considering how your spouse will take it all.

Non verbal communication mostly uses body language which also has to be good enough not to hurt your spouse. Always people should be aware of their body language. Anyone who is hunched over and appears to be closed off at the same time trying to make an important conversation makes their partners feel the lack of vulnerability. Spouses should be faced and body language kept open during difficult conversations. The body language needs to show the spouse that one is willing to hear them out and have a say and also willing to work the problem out. One should be conscious and thoughtful regarding their body expressions and how the feelings are being expressed. Good communication can be expressed in physical acts such as making dinner for their spouse, going to the grocery stores on their behalf, doing laundry simply showing acts of kindness and coordination in marriages. Such things communicate love for them without having to say anything (Badr & Carmack Taylor, 620).

Conclusion

Good communication in a marriage only exists when a husband and wife speaks openly and honestly to each other about any of their feelings and thoughts. Communication is therefore a backbone to any long-lasting marriage and good relationships in the family. When couples fail to embrace good communication they end up struggling to make marriages work and in this case live with frustrations through. This has led to breakups and bizarre happenings in marriages such as people committing suicides, killing their innocent children or even undergoing mental torture. It’s therefore advisable that spouses embrace good communication to ensure they create a serene environment for both them and those in their lives can thrive in. It’s even advisable for couples to seek guidance and counseling or enroll for classes that discuss communication in marriages so as to improve on how they communicate with each other for better coexistence.

Works cited

Badr, H., & Carmack Taylor, C. L ‘‘Effects of relationship maintenance on psychological

distress and dyadic adjustment among couples’’. Health Psychology, Vol. 27, 2008 pp 616–627

Dailey, R. M., Hampel, A. D., & Roberts, J. B ‘‘Relational maintenance in on-again/off- again relationships: An assessment of how relational maintenance, uncertainty, and commitment vary by relationship type and status’’. Communication Monographs, Vol. 77, 2010 pp. 75 -101.

Maguire, K. C., & Kinney, T. A ‘‘When distance is problematic: Communication, coping,

and relational satisfaction in female college students’ long-distance dating relationships’’. Journal of Applied Communication Research, Vol. 28, 2010 pp.27–46.