flirting between boys and girls

The method of exchanging knowledge and ideas from one person to another is known as communication. The aim of communication is to communicate thoughts, feelings, beliefs, opinions, teach or learn, and improve one’s situation. Communication is important in human interactions such as those between parents and their offspring, wives and husbands, and employers and employees. Men and women, on the other hand, have distinct designs and ideals. Gender variations can be seen in both attitudes and physical appearance. Women and men thought, sound, speak, and behave in very different ways. The most noticeable distinction is the manner in which they speak (Papadopoulos, 2009). However, contact between young men and women during puberty is often characterized by flirtations. The young people today engage in frequent communication in school, community and on the internet. The communication involves flirting and sexual comments. The paper looks into the interpersonal communication or flirting between boys and girls.

Communication and flirting

The coquetry or flirting is a social and sexual behavior involving written or verbal communication, body language from one individual to another (especially of the opposite sex). The communication intention is to suggest interest in the deeper relationship, play around or just a fair comment. The many cultures of the world disapprove people making explicit sexual advances in school in public. However, the same society seems to accept private or indirect sexual advances. Flirting involves behaving and speaking in ways that suggest greater mildly of intimacy than just the normal relationships between parties. The public display is acceptable but people accomplish it playfully (Mead, 2004). The body language such as eye contact, flicking the hair, brief touching, proximity and open stances are the common behavior between flirting parties. The verbal communication includes alteration of vocal tone, intonation, and volume.

The society expects discreet behavior and attitude from girls and girls. Gender socialization is the tendency for girls and boys to have different socialization. According to Vannoy, (2001) the society raises the female children to conform to the role of female gender and boys to the male gender. The gender roles are the attitude, behavior, personality traits promoted and expected of a person based on sex (Wood, 2005; Wood, 2009). The boys will always flirt with girls they find attractive and stares at good looking girls. The girls will wait for the boys to initiate a conversation even if she too has attractiveness feelings towards the stranger they just met.

The boys and girls flirters for fun and further intention include sexual interests. Friends, co-workers, total stranger flirters for fun in a bid to know each other (Emerson & ProQuest Information and Learning Company, 2009). The intention here may not necessarily lead to romance or sexual relationship but is meant to cement the bond between the two parties. However, the mate-selection process occurring between boys and girls begin by sending sexual signal availability to each other. In case the interest gets a positive feedback, the parties continue to flirter. Non-verbal signs such as hand touching, exchange of glances and hair touching are common in flirting parties (Guerrero, 2009). Additionally, flirting includes stylized body language, gestures, and postures, blowing a kiss, eyebrow raising, smiling and all physiologic signs that make cues to other individuals. The boys and girls use verbal signs such as face-to-face chatting and giving out comments. In the digital world, the teenagers exchange the telephone numbers for having a further contact and communication after they part ways. The twenty-first flirting takes place in instant messaging and in various social media.

The growth in information technology continues to change the way boys and girls flirter. The cell phone and the internet revolutionized messaging and communication. The new medium of communication resulted in new ways of flirtation called ‘sex-texting’. The new method allows posting and sending sexually suggestive images and text messages. The internet allows the exchange of nude or semi-nude photograph via the computers and cell phones. According to Lewis & Bryant 2010) over 20% of the teenagers had sent or posted nude or semi-nude photos on the different social media platforms (Marx, 2006). There were 40% of the teens that texted suggestive e-mails or text messages. The access to technology results to cultures that celebrate sexting, compelling text and body-flaunting. The teenagers want to sexy and look cool to people they find attractive (Winter, 2015). The evidence in existence suggests that sending photos is the new way of flirting but is also a way boys pressure the girls to do. The girls indicate that they text out of pressure from the peers or boys forced them to do so. Some of the girls sex-test in taking pride and comfort in their growing bodies.

In adults and married couples, the married partner’s flirtatious behavior is motivated by the desire for sexual activities and desires to create a private world with the spouse. Guerrero (2009) examined the motivation behind the flirtatious behavior, motivations, commitment, and satisfaction and relational maintain among married couples. The couple flirter with other married partners for various reasons. The women tend to maintain the attentive and behavior in flirting compared to the men.

Conclusion

The boys and girls flirters for fun and further intention include sexual interests. The teenagers use verbal and nonverbal communication to flirter. The activities may take place in public (highly discouraged by culture) and in private (mobile phone and internet). The digital world has new ways of flirting that include sex-texting and instant messaging. Young people use the social media platform to send suggestive messages and dialogue for fun or sexual interests. In adults and married couples, the married partner’s flirtatious behavior is motivated by the desire for sexual activities and desires to create a private world with the spouse.

References

Emerson, T., & ProQuest Information and Learning Company. (2009). Between flirting and sexual harassment: Explaining efficacy and effrontery in the workplace.

Guerrero, Laura K, Joseph A. DeVito, and Michael L. Hecht (2009). The Nonverbal Communication Reader: Classic and Contemporary Readings. Prospect Heights, Ill: Waveland Press.

Lewis, M. L., & Bryant, A. (2010). Flirting 101: How to charm your way to love, friendship, and success. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin.

Marx, E. (2006). Flirtspeak: The sexy language of flirting. New York: Citadel.

Mead, Margaret (2004). William O. Beeman, ed. Studying Contemporary Western Society: Method and Theory. New York: Berghahn Books. pp. 145, 149

Papadopoulos, L. (2009). What men say, what women hear: Bridging the communication gap one conversation at a time. New York: Simon Spotlight Entertainment.

Vannoy, D. (2001). Gender mosaics: Social perspectives. Los Angeles: Roxbury, 3.

Winter, Susan (2015-04-19). “The Dating Game of Hot and Cold”. Huffington Post. Retrieved on 5 May 10, 2017

Wood, J. (2005). Gendered lives: Communication, gender, and culture. Belmont:Wadsworth Thomsen

Wood, J. (2009). Gendered lives: Communication, gender, and culture (8th Edition). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing.