fish out of the water“

Being a “fish out of water” refers to being in strange territory. This suggests discomfort, difficulty, and coping mechanisms. Students in short-term internship programs may feel like a fish out of water in the new organization they join. This was my experience when volunteering at a non-profit for a few weeks. That group was assisting populations in the southern states of the United States that had been impacted by a hurricane a few years ago. Their projects include house reconstruction and youth empowerment. The interns assisted the staff in carrying out the programs. Even though it was just for a few weeks, there were some challenges, particularly in adjusting to the new surroundings. That experience was all about diversity. The project participants belong to various ethnic backgrounds, the staff are from different age groups, and managers were mostly women. Looking back at that experience, I realize that the discomfort resulted from an encounter with a new culture. When someone meets and interacts with a new culture, some sort of shock takes place. This happens because of the different set of worldviews, beliefs and practices that each cultural group possess.

Language

Most of the US residents speak American English. As a white male I am confident that I will not have any difficulty interacting with anyone on American soil. We all speak English. How difficult would that be? I approached a group of students, teenagers, African-Americans and asked a few questions. Questions such as, “do you play  basketball?” and “what movies do you watch?” When one boy answered, we started to have a nice conversation going. Then two others joined in our conversation. They were excited and sentences came out fast and quick. Suddenly I was taken aback, I can’t get everything they were saying. Instead of responding quickly to what we were discussing, I began making general replies. I just could not get every sentence  clearly. 

Language is more than just an exchange of messages. It is a unifying factor among members of a community. Language contains different nuances that are known only to members of that ethnic group. As a white teenager, I speak English just like the teenagers I was talking with. However, we come from different ethnic backgrounds and this was where the language difference stem from. They were African-Americans and their English contains the nuances of their culture. We may speak the same words but we utter it differently. The English spoken by the teenagers I was interacting with is the same language spoken by the African-Americans in their community. Such language represents not only English words but it also conveys the culture of this particular ethnic group. I experienced a discomfort when I couldn’t join the conversation. I felt left out because I could not understand many of the “unsaid.” These are stuff that for members of the same ethnic group are already understandable, built into their language.

The feeling of isolation in the midst of a lot of people is an uncomfortable feeling. I felt embarrassed and a bit resentful. There were thoughts of “why did I come here?,” ”what have I gotten myself into,” and ”I should have just stayed home.” Actually, I felt like leaving at that instant. I thought, there was no point in me helping out this group because I could not understand what they are saying. I felt it was embarrassing to ask what they were saying or what the joke was when they were laughing. They were younger than me and believed I should be able to understand what they were saying because I am the adult. To ask them to explain what they mean when they were using English words would make me look bad. I come from the organization, I am a professional, I should be knowledgeable. This feeling of presenting a positive image of me added pressure to my already uncomfortable first week. I have this notion of how people should act and what images to project. Having these stereotypes in my head influenced my behavior towards the people I met.

Stereotypes

The organization I worked with had more women leaders than men. The executive officer was male but all the managers under him were female. At the start of the week, the executive officer gives a rundown of the week’s goals and expected outputs. The female managers were in-charge that all these main goals were accomplished through the week. I worked with a female supervisor and a male staff. When we were given tasks, the manager enumerates what each of us were supposed to do. At the end of these briefings I was often asked if I had question and if everything was clear to me. I would answer that everything was clear. Looking back at those meetings, I realized that I often had questions after those briefings. I would be asking the male staff about procedures and additional explanations. My thought back then was that I asked him because were both male and he would understand me better. I did not realize that the reason I did that was because I had stereotypes about roles of men and women. Li, Bagger & Cropanzano (2016) talks about gender stereotypes affecting how supervisors perceive employees’ performance. In my case, the reason I was more inclined to confirm my tasks with my male co-worker was that I also hold the stereotypes of men being assigned the leadership roles. It was easier to confer with a male co-worker than with a female supervisor because of such biases.

The stereotypes about male/female roles in society influences the tasks I take in the organization. I tend to take on tasks that I believe are ”for men.” In the house repair for instance, I immediately took the task of putting the ceiling because such ”heavy tasks” should be done by men. When I saw a female co-worker start cutting the boards with a power tool, I felt both admiration and discomfort. Awe because she took on a ”man’s job” and was good at it. Discomfort because such tasks were jobs that are supposed to be done by men. These tasks were physically exhausting and were quite dangerous. In several occasions whenever a female co-worker embark on these tasks, I would immediately ask ”are you sure you can do it?” The question was asked out of genuine concern, but many times my co-worker gets irritated and would snap at me and tells me ”of course, I can do it!.” Thinking about it now, my questions might have insulted her. Instead of the concern, it must have been prejudice that came across. She might think that my question meant, ”you are just a woman, can you really do a man’s job. This gender division of labor is closely associated with gender stereotypes (Heilman, 2012) and although I did not mean to offend her, my stereotypes was the message that came across.

Each individual’s concept about gender roles has been developed from childhood. My beliefs of what men and women are supposed to be responsible with in the home and office were shaped by my interactions with the people within my circle—family, school, work, and friends. Groups tend to share the same biases and these continue to be affirmed while growing up because of the constant interaction with each other. The biases and stereotypes only becomes clear when there is an encounter with another group or with someone who strongly oppose such bias. That was the case with me. My ideas about gender roles were challenged when I worked in an organization that had more women than men. It was not easy to accommodate views that are not within one’s pool of long-held beliefs. However, starting to recognize that there are other perceptions about gender roles was a start.

Work skills

The goal for the day was to work on  the walls of the house. We had to put insulation in walls and ceilings. Tasks included cutting boards,  inserting the fiberglass, and securing walls and ceilings. My group was assigned one house and we only had a day to finish it. Placing the fiberglass was not difficult. It was just a matter of unrolling the fiber and filling the walls. The dust was manageable. I tried nailing the walls and ceiling. The ceiling was difficult. Having to balance in a ladder  while hammering  the nails require coordination. I managed to complete the task with extreme persistence. I did not attempt cutting the boards. Watching someone else doing it with ease and confidence intimidated me.

Food

What is it with rice? Why does every meal have to be with rice? In my brief stay at that organization, I shared an apartment with students from Vietnam, Tanzania, India and Philippines. Whenever I take my meals with any of them, I noticed that rice was always in the menu, whether steamed rice, fried rice, and rice with beans. There were different ways of preparation too. One was boiling rice in a few cups of water. Another was frying the beans and uncooked rice in oil then adding some water. I grew up with mostly pasta, potatoes and bread on my table. I was curious to see them have the same food all the time. Rice is actually a staple food in many countries all over the world especially in Asia and Africa. A rice theory suggests that cultures engaged in rice cultivation are more cooperative while those cultivating wheat are more individualistic (Talhelm, 2014). The reason was rice cultivators depend with each other for the irrigation in their rice paddies, planting of the rice and harvesting. Thus, growing the crop entails cooperation with one another. In comparison, wheat growers can grow the crop on their own without depending on when other wheat farmer will sow their seeds or harvest their crops.

Just as I would not be comfortable having rice all the time, my housemates would probably find it hard not to have rice at least once a day. The daily intake of a particular food creates a routine and when such routine breaks, the person becomes disoriented. When I had to take a break from my usual breakfast, I was a little disoriented too. The feeling of something missing disturbs one’s balance. It was difficult to concentrate on the morning tasks. It was disconcerting that something as small as breakfast food can have that effect. There is always a tendency to take for granted what one has at the home front. It is when a person is temporarily uprooted from home that all these little things matter. A glass of orange juice or a bottle of soda suddenly takes on a new meaning in a new environment.

Food is not only sustenance it is an expression of one’s culture. Those that people consider as comfort food are not consumed for their taste alone. Each bite of a home-cooked meal deposits a memory that binds a family or a group of friends. A study by Utter et al. (2016) states that teenagers who often eat with their families feel that they are better connected. A parent, daughter or son who takes the time to cook for the family offers more than just food. Cooking for the family is about ”sharing traditions, building bonds, and making memories” (Goodall, 2014). 

During this brief time of being away from home, I longed for home-cooked meals. I did prepare my own meals during the week, but the weekends meant having a parent-cooked meal. I used to complain about those compulsory gatherings. However, after staying for a few weeks in a new environment, the familiar comforts of home, especially the home-cooked meals, have taken on a new-found significance. The sharing of food in the home was also the occasion for the sharing of the week’s events. Family members argue with each other, but there is a common understanding about the values, beliefs and worldviews.

Worldviews

A weekly activity in the organization was discussion about the successes and difficulties encountered during the week. Each person was given the chance to voice out one’s opinions about the processes in project implementation. In these instances I openly expressed how I felt about the program and our activities. The general atmosphere was acceptance about our opinions. However, there were instances that I challenged another staff’s opinion and we went into a heated argument. I realized now, that the conflicting opinions result from our different beliefs. Our worldviews differ because we come from different ethnic backgrounds.

Religious practices

Sunday was a special day. Our organization did not allow staff to work in the office during Sundays. The leaders explained that it was a day of service for the Lord and members were required to fulfill their religious obligations. I noticed that there were different religions in that town because of the different sites of worship. Despite variations in religion, one thing was common during Sundays. Families flocked to their churches dressed in their Sunday’s best. In one of the churches that I attended I observed that all women and girls wore dresses with sleeves. I had a conversation about the length of dress with one of the staff and she said that when a woman goes to church, she had to make sure that her elbows and knees were covered. I left it at that. I did not anymore question their reasons. I am sure it had nothing to do with the weather because it was really hot in this southern state.

Realities of internship

An internship, whether paid or unpaid usually means one is at the bottom of the ladder. You’re a newcomer, a trainee, a temporary worker, and an extra pair of hands. It wouldn’t matter if the intern had the highest GPA or captain of the hockey team. Once accepted as intern, he or she wears that hat from day one until the last day. Once he/she assumes the role, then the intern takes on the tasks and responsibilities, no questions asked.

In my case, I had a lot of expectations. I was excited to contribute my time and skills to the organization.. After the initial introduction to the structure of the organization, reality began to sink in. Someone had to be assigned to simple everyday tasks that require immediate attention. The staff, busy with their own assignments, often seeks a quick assistance from an every ready, available intern. I was overwhelmed with the little things requested by different people at different times. Eager to please and considered helpful, I made it a point to grant these requests. Of course, I had a detailed job description, but this included the phrase ”and other tasks assigned from time to time by the supervisor.

I was eager to meet the project participants and make an impact in their lives. One of the reasons for applying to the job was contributing to society through a positive interaction with ethnic groups. This was a motivating factor especially to students filled with idealism. School was a stepping stone towards becoming a productive member of society. The perfect way to achieve that goal was to contribute time to a non-profit. I thought I would be in the frontline always, handing out food package, giving advice to confused youth, and others. I was disappointed. When I processed the source of the disappointment, I realized that I was after a particular image, that of being considered a ”hero,” ”lifting people out of their misery.” My years of watching films and television shows depicting heroic characters must have rubbed off on my expectations of how to help others. I had this view that the organization was helping the less fortunate through heroic means—providing food, housing, and trainings for the youth. When I became part of the organization, I realized that empowering people meant more than just giving them basic necessities. It was making them partners in activities that would result in positive changes in their lives. When we were rebuilding houses, half of the people working were the ethnic groups living at that area. The organization facilitated and helped out in the rebuilding, but the bulk of the work came from the project participants. The meaning of ”partners for rebuilding lives” became meaningful when I realized that every single contribution a worker gives, no matter how simple the task, is a necessary contribution to the bigger picture. All those afternoons spent stapling papers or arranging files in alphabetical order did not seem so mundane after all. Those tasks were significant to the completion of the bigger task that the organization set out to do in the target communities.

Power relations

I was thrilled to have the chance to share my views about the organization to my supervisor and the management. I thought I would be talking to the senior officers and give them a presentation about what I learned from the organization. I realized that my direct link to the organization was my supervisor. My opinions, learning points, and recommendations go directly to her and it would depend on her judgment whether my thoughts will reach the head of the organization. Organizations have hierarchies and there are requirements to reach level after level. I was at the bottom of the ladder. My contributions were small but it was a contribution to the overall goal.

Conclusion

The internship was a humbling experience. I started filled with energy, conviction, and pride that I can contribute something valuable to the organization. During the days that I worked with the staff, I experienced some kind of discomfort. I encountered beliefs that were different from what I have been accustomed to. In my encounter with a different culture I felt a new sense of respect to members of the different ethnic groups.

References

Goodall, F. (2014). ”Cooking Is About Creating Memories and Bonds,” The New York Times, Sept, 14, 2014.

Heilman M. (2012). Gender stereotypes and workplace bias. Research in Organizational Behavior, 32: 113–135.

Li, A., Bagger, J. & Cropanzano, R. (2016).The impact of stereotypes and supervisor perceptions of employee work–family conflict on job performance ratings. Human Relations. 70 (1): 1-27. doi 10.1177/0018726716645660

Naeem, A. Nadeem, A. & Khan, I. (2015 ). Culture shock and its effects on expatriates. Global Advanced Research Journal of Management and Business Studies, 4(6): 248-258.

Talhelm, T., Zhang, X., Oishi, S., Shimin, C., Duan, D., Lan, X. & Kitayama, S. (2014). Large-Scale Psychological Differences Within China Explained by Rice Versus Wheat Agriculture. Science, 344 (6184): 603-608. Doi. 10.1126/science.1246850

Utter, J., Denny, S., Lucassen, M. & Dyson, B. (2016). Adolescent cooking abilities and behaviors: Associations with nutrition and emotional well-being. Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior, 48(1) pp. 35–41.