Effective Communication Techniques within Relationships between Couples

Couples must develop good communication skills in order to keep their relationship safe and active (Benson, 30). The plurality of partners, though, have never learned this. Couples are also having difficulty interacting with one another. Partners would be able to build a long-lasting and caring friendship if they improve their communication skills.

Why do couples work on improving their relationship skills?

The primary goal of cooperation in a relationship is to understand one another. Most couples ignore this because they see talking as a debate in which one person must prevail and the other must concede defeat. This creates wrangles in a marriage union which can result in a continuous misunderstanding or even a divorce.

Couples argue so much in a bid to determine who is right. This may create an unending debate as there is no measure of who holds the reality. Since one purpose of communication is coming to an agreement, the partners in a marriage should be able to sacrifice their pride, feelings, and ideas to come into a collaboration (Benson, 30).

Couples should, therefore, develop good communication skills to communicate well with their loved ones. Below are some of the communication skills;

Identify the reality in your relationship.

Most couples argue about who is right most of the times. In as much as everyone in a relationship wants to be listened to, and understanding must be there. One should allow his or her partner to communicate their deepest feelings and still listen to them. Without a good understanding between couples, it may be difficult to come to a conclusion after a long argument.

The couples should take their time and try to learn their partner’s feelings on several things, what they want at times and the best time to communicate the desired message to them. The couples should discuss burning issues in the family in a cool and a peaceful manner. They should establish the reality at any matter on the discussion table and solve it collectively. This helps them to get to the truth of the cause of the problem and helps them to come up with the long-term solutions for their union.

Couples should also derive lessons from their previous arguments and keep the reality of the matter for future reference (Hartmann, 810). The experience gained will help them avoid related instances in the future and make the couples solve their problems in a more mature manner.

Listening to one another in a relationship.

In as much as one wishes to listen in a relationship, couples should focus on keenly listening to their partners. One should be aware of the thoughts and the feelings of their partners. Sometimes one may misread an expression by their partners and get into a heated exchange of words after that, something which could have to be solved if the other partner had been listened to. Such an incident can be avoided by learning to listen to your partner before judging them. In fact, one knows nothing until they have listened to their partners.

Listening to one another is a skill which couples who want to lead a happy marriage should learn. It is totally different from hearing. The fact that one has heard does not necessarily mean that they have listened. Couples who keenly listen to one another lead a better relationship.

Marriage partners should learn and develop the skill of listening to one another as this will lead to a happy, loving and an understanding relationship.

Talk to your partner

Marriage partners should talk to one another frequently. When talking, marriage partners should aim at understanding one another. They need to share their deep thoughts, perceptions, and feelings towards each other. Partners should hold peaceful, respectful and decent communications severally. This strengthens their bond.

Most partners are self-centered and focus on themselves when going to a conversation table. One feels victimized or disrespected by the other when their ideas are not taken into consideration. This should not be the case as the partners should seek to understand each other and communicate their ideas freely (Hartmann, 810). One should openly communicate what they don’t like to their partners.

Any feeling expressed by any of the partners should be handled with maturity and should not be termed as childish. One should not keep emotional feeling such being disappointed or hurt to themselves but should instead discuss them openly with their partners.

Marriage partners should also openly reveal their personal wants to their partners. Partners should not be embarrassed when sharing about their personal wants. People in marriage should be very close and intimate to one another such that no one feels ashamed of sharing their affections and demands. They should, in fact, communicate with more personal levels to dismiss any fears and create openness in case one has a need.

In case of a dis agreement, don’t bring up the past

It is important for partners to stick to their ongoing discussion and not bring up the past in the case of an argument. This is a golden rule in any relationship argument. Pointing to past actions during a disagreement is a drawback to any already solved issue. During a disagreement, one should focus on finding the solution to the current problem and not being emotional and bringing up the past in the discussion.

Bringing up the past may lead to heated arguments which may lead to another issue. This makes solving the current problem difficult. Therefore the past should not be brought up whenever there is an ongoing argument.

Understanding your partner

It is easier to communicate to a person you understand his or her feelings, thoughts and reactions. Marriage partners should, therefore, seek to understand one another. They should study each other and get the best understanding they can. This will be of great help if an argument arises as problem-solving for people who understand one another is easier.

Learn to acknowledge first then explain later.

Whenever on the partner in a marriage union presents an issue, is good for the other to listen to the allegations first then make a conclusion later (Hartmann, 810). Listening helps one get the root understanding of the allegations against him or her and come up with a polite reply. An acknowledged problem is a problem half solved.

Acknowledging a mistake even if the accuser does not have the facts can prevent heated arguments in a marriage union. If the accusing partner finds out that the made allegations were wrong, he or she will feel sorry and apologize to the other partner. This solves the problem.

Learn to be compassionate with your partner

Learning the skill of empathizing with one another during arguments is something which marriage partners should learn. One should be kind to the other partner when solving arguing. The partners should also view the issue on the table on the other partner’s side of view. This brings maturing and understanding in communication and subsequently makes it easier to solve conflicts when they arise.

Be considerate of your tone

When communicating to one another, couples should use a loving and a respectful tone. One should not shout to the other during conflicts solving. Couples should instead handle their issues with love, peace, and understanding. The tone should always be respectful and loving.

Spend some good time with your partner.

Couples should retreat and have some good time together. They should at times forget all the arguments they had and choose a nice place for a retreat. This boosts their love and creates a better understanding between them. This is the time when good communication skills are learned and developed as the couples interact freely without interference from job commitments and house hold chores.

During this time the couples should treat each other with respect love and care. They should also discuss their way forward in their union. This helps couples educate themselves on the better ways of handling their partners (Hopkinson, 830). With this, better communication skills will be achieved.

Talk face to face and do no attack during an argument.

In case an argument arises, it is advisable to find some time and talk to each other face to face. This is necessary as it allows one to express their emotions. Use of text messages and emails should be limited as they can sometimes be misunderstood or misinterpreted. Before you meet for the discussion, one should be sure of his or her allegations as this makes the discussion simple and straight forward.

Marriage partners should be courteous when talking to one another. When solving a disagreement, one should not attack but choose to argue politely instead. This will prevent further conflicts and heated exchange of words.

Be honest.

Although the truth hurts, the couple should learn to handle it. Avoid sugar coated words in conflict resolutions and instead talk the truth. Be honest to one another. This increases trust between marriage partners.

CONCLUSION.

Couples who learn good communication skills live in harmony. It is, therefore, necessary for couples to emphasize the importance of improving their communication skills.

Works Cited

Benson, Lisa A., Meghan M. McGinn, and Andrew Christensen. “Common principles of couple therapy.” Behavior therapy 43.1 (2012): 25-35.

Berger, Rony, and Mo Therese Hannah. Preventive approaches in couples therapy. Routledge, 2013.

Derlaga, Valerian J., and John H. Berg, eds. Self-disclosure: Theory, research, and therapy. Springer Science & Business Media, 2013.

Hartmann, Miriam, et al. “Changes in couples’ communication as a result of a male-involvement family planning intervention.” Journal of health communication 17.7 (2012): 802-819.

Hopkinson, Jane B., et al. “The effectiveness of patient-family carer (couple) intervention for the management of symptoms and other health-related problems in people affected by cancer: a systematic literature search and narrative review.” Journal of pain and symptom management 43.1 (2012): 111-142.

Siegenthaler, Eliane, Thomas Munder, and Matthias Egger. “Effect of preventive interventions in mentally ill parents on the mental health of the offspring: systematic review and meta- analysis.” Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry 51.1 (2012): 8-17.