Death and Bereavement

Bereavement is an appalling experience that everyone experiences in a life time. I came to mug up this when my grandfather passed on due to sarcoma illness. I stirred up late for so my mom had to drive me to school. Before we could make our way to school my dad ordered us to go inside. The atmosphere in the house was ample to induce me that something sorrowful had ensued, the demise of my grandfather. My family members broke into blubbering and the temperament in the room became distressed.

            In Conrad Philip Kottak’s “Rite of Passage” there are three stages of rite of passage; Separation, Margin and Aggregation. Conrad designated separation as the phase where one apprehends the loss of the esteemed one. The separation stage is grim and emotive to lever as one disbelieves that they have lost their adored one. We reached to the chamber where he was and when my turn reached to go to the room; I gained mettle and appropriated the bull by its horns. My grandparent had been pronounced brain lifeless and hence the life support machine had to be turned off. He laid on the bed his eyes rolling, façade as white as slush, his whole body was cold and his limbs were tight fold. My extended family members were all over. I got hold of his hand, canoodled his forehead and sang his beloved song though my voice was precarious. I told him that I was going to miss him though he should not worry as he was going to ecstasy. I had to accept the fact that he is gone and separated from us. His memories are still fresh in my mind up to now that at times I trance of his presence.

            The second phase is the Margin whereby one is deeply affected by the reminiscences and actions of the detached person. This was the stiffest time that I had ever experienced. The pain grief of the loss traumatized me. I could never help myself lousing. My kinsfolks solaced me severally but the efforts were futile. In most times I put on plastic smiles but deep in myself I was in pain. I was adversely affected that I bared emblems of abating health. This became a concern to my family but I kept repudiating and holding to the statement ”I am okay”. The decease affected me emotionally, physically and conceptually. My cognizance was ever in a state of disturbance. I even tried severally to pray to Divinity to help me out but still the memoirs of grandpa were lingering at my mind. I became dejected by this experience.

            The last stage is the aggregation. This is the stage where one convalesces from the incidence and returns to a customary state. I was adversely affected that I started developing a bald spot at the posterior of my head. I had to seek out a homoeopathic attention. I decided to visit a psychotherapist whom I opened up to all the experience I was enduring. I was slated for two appointments in a month and after numerous months I was well and I had fully recuperated and healed. I became sturdier than before. The death experience empowered me to comprehend that there is nonentity in this existence that reigns incessantly. We only need ways to deal with the loss and be good in managing our feelings.